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• Sweeter Sides of Life
Boy Friend is like a chocolate, "Taste good always." Girl Friend is like Pizza, Hot n Spicy, "Delicious anytime." Wife is like the refrigerated left overs, "Eaten when no choice." Husband is like a cooled off Tea in a cup, "Headache on sip.
• Respect to a Dead Union
A husband reminded the wife, Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary and I want to start the day with two minute's in silence.
• Senseless and Careless
A man before marriage stays awake happily whole night contemplating about the wordage of lover woman. Then after marriage he starts snoring faster then loving wife utters the first word.
• Wise Saying
Your money gets transferred faster than lightning When you marry.
• For unmarried only
Happy Independence Day.
• After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
~ Sacha Guitry
• By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~ Socrates
• Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
~ Anonymous
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want"?
~ Dumas
• I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
~ Sigmund Freud
• 'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
~ Anonymous
• 'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
~ Sam Kinison
• 'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
~ James Holt McGavra
• Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
~ Patrick Murra
• The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
~ Nash
• You know what I did before I married
Anything I wanted to.
~ Anonymous
• My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
~ Henny Youngman
• A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
~ Rodney Dangerfield
• A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
~ Anonymous
• First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
~ Anonymous
They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without...but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
My wife and I always compromise; I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without...but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is a husband.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
My wife told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends.
A husband said to his wife,
"No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."
The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!"
The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here."
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Cosmetics: A woman's way of keeping a man from reading between the lines.
Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute
Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car
is new or the wife.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Bachelors should pay more taxes, they enjoy a better quality of life.
Why Government does not allow a Man to Marry 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake
When do you congratulate someone for their mistake.
On their marriage.
If you do NOT have a wife - You are missing Some thing in your life.
If you have a wife - You are missing So Many things in your life.
Marriage is a three ring circus:
engagement ring
wedding ring
suffering
Tags: Marriage, Couples, Valentines, Jokes, February, ...
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